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Chastisement is often misunderstood because of our wrong concepts of God. When we study Hebrews, Chapter 12 in its context (the context begins in verse 1, not verse 5), we see that the author of Hebrews is not talking about sending bad things our way, but rather he is comparing our resistance of sin to the unpleasantness of the discipline of our earthly fathers.

We see the chastening of the Lord to be the resisting of temptation and is comparable to a child being disciplined by his father. When we resist temptation, it is often a struggle. The unrenewed mind wants one thing, the spirit wants another. That unpleasant struggle is similar to a child being chastened/disciplined for a wrong committed. Its not pleasant, but it will yield fruit. Resisting temptation is not pleasant but will also yield fruit. Those who do not resist temptation are not like sons. Sons endure chastening (resisting temptation), bastards don't (don't resist).

Jesus was perfected by the things that He suffered.

Heb 5:8 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

Jesus' suffering was not in terms of sickness nor of suffering at the hands of His Father, but rather from persecution for the Word's sake. And, He suffered the temptation of letting 'this cup pass' from Him in the garden. He resisted to the point of shedding blood. He was tempted in all ways, yet without sin. (Heb. 4:15)

How does God perfect His children? The primary method is by His Word!

2 Tim. 3:16-17 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

From this passage we understand that it is possible for the child of God to be perfected without tragedies or sickness. It is the Word of God that perfects us. It is the Word that 'corrects' and 'reproves' us. As we submit to the Word and apply it to our lives, we are being transformed outwardly to the spiritual image we have inwardly - the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Cor. 5:21).

Returning to Hebrews 12, we see the author establishing the context in the first few verses. 'Let us run with patience,' 'lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.' 'Ye have not yet resisted (temptation) unto blood (as Jesus did in the Garden), striving against sin.'

Therefore, the resisting of temptation and the striving against sin is the context of the chapter. Even Jesus found it unpleasant to resist, and strived to the point of shedding blood.

Heb 12:3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 4 ¶ Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.

The author then continues by comparing such an ordeal to enduring chastisement or the discipline of God. If you endure chastening (which has been likened to resisting temptation), it is as a father dealing with his son. Sons who are not disciplined (sons of God who don't resist temptation) are like bastards and not sons.

He compares such striving against sin to the discipline of an earthly father. We subjected ourselves to their discipline and though unpleasant, it yielded fruit. It wasn't joyous but it was worth it. To be subject to the 'Father of spirits,' is referring to the resisting of temptation previously mentioned, and that we not 'be wearied and faint in our minds.' When we resist temptation it isn't easy, it isn't joyous, but if we submit to God, and resist the devil (James 4:7), then we will also experience the fruit of righteousness.

Verse 12 continues in the same context we saw at the beginning of the chapter. "Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees.." In other words, hang in there! You can resist! You can overcome. It’s not always easy to the flesh. It’s like being disciplined, but it is worth it!

The author follows by speaking of the sins that we must resist as part of the 'chastening' of the Lord: bitterness, fornication or being a 'profane person.' (verses 15-16). Esau did not resist temptation, sold his birthright and was 'rejected' (a bastard, not a son).

We need to understand that sickness has never perfected anyone, it only comes to steal, kill and destroy. The Lord has given us His word to perfect us, and the five-fold ministry gifts mentioned in Eph 4:11-14.

In John 15:1-3, Jesus speaks of 'purging' or pruning the branches that they might bear more fruit. Some have taken this to refer to sickness and calamity as well. However, in verse 3 Jesus says: "Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you." The word 'clean' is the same Greek word translated 'purgeth' in the prior verse, and shows us that Jesus cleanses us, or purges us, by His Word, not by sickness.

Again, the chastening of the Lord is when you decide to put the Word over your own fleshy desires and you resist. As you resist temptation you learn obedience, as did Jesus.

A second way to understand this passage is to see the author of Hebrews comparing himself to a father (a spiritual father) and his letter represents God’s correction, exhortation and discipline. The entire letter is a letter of correction and explanation to Jewish Christians who were tempted to return to the Law and the sacrifices and leave their faith in Jesus. In this context, the ‘chastisement of the Lord’ is the letter itself.